OK, seriously.

If the chick sitting kitty-corner from me does not stop loudly macking on her barista boyfriend I AM GOING TO VOMIT.

I'm sure they're perfectly nice people, I'm happy they're so in love, it's fabulous that they can spend the day together, but for christ's sake GET A ROOM OR SOMETHING. PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO CONCENTRATE OVER HERE.

That is all.