Taking the Leap

Well, it's official: I'm not going back to work. I sent in my official resignation this morning, and got back a brief, polite, but unhappy reply from my manager. Now it's just a matter of filling out the requisite paperwork and tying up all the loose ends. Fortunately, I did an extra thorough job of preparing for my maternity leave in the hopes that I'd be able to make it permanent, so the transition should be fairly smooth.

On paper, you understand, this is an INSANE thing to do. I was the major breadwinner in our family, and we just bought a house, for chrissakes. Of course, Mr. Squab is likely to get a big promotion in the near future, and with the cost of childcare being so insane in this state, most of my pay would have been going towards daycare anyway. But still! We're a little nervous about this. Mr. Squab will be ramping up his freelance work (he's a graphic designer), and I'll have to look for some freelance writing/editing work of my own, or maybe try to pick up a night class at a community college. It's going to be tight-tight-tight, but after talking it over, we decided it would be worth it. I was absolutely dreading the thought of leaving the Hatchling with someone else three days a week - I know, I'm sure we both would have survived it and I'm just being a baby about it, but I was not looking forward to that first dropping off.

I also realized that I've been holding back a little - not completely investing in being a SAHM, just in case I couldn't find a way to stay home permanently. Now that I know I will be with her all the time, I'm sort of excited about it. Having my mom at home was such an important part of my childhood, and I'm feeling very lucky that I'll get to provide the same environment for the Hatchling. You know, unless we have to go into the poorhouse or something. Gulp. Wish us luck!