Items I have purchased/eaten in the past three days:

1. All-Bran oatmeal raisin bars

2. Citrucel fiber tablets

3. Grapenuts (2 bowls)

4. Fiber One & Wheat Chex (one bowl)

5. Bran muffins (3)

6. Raw fruit (about a bushel, give or take)

Result, to date: Diddly. I think this moves me beyond irregularity into some fourth dimension of constipation. I may have super powers. Really, really gross super powers.